Dating Your Spouse: Why It’s Important and My Top Tips
Who else has always heard that it’s important to continue dating your spouse throughout marriage? I honestly think it might be one of my favorite pieces of marriage advice. On our “date days” or after a designated “date night”, I always feel closer and like our relationship is stronger than ever.
Dating your spouse doesn’t only apply once married though. Throughout a relationship, we should always be consciously dating our significant other. To date someone implies romantic interest. Dating consists of performing social activities. It provides opportunities to continually connect and reconnect.
So why does is matter if you are “dating” your spouse (or significant other) or not? Research literally shows that married couples who continue to date each other, have lower divorce rates! Regular dating also helps improve relational communication and can help keep the romance alive by getting you out of your normal routines and changing things up.
Have you ever noticed how the romance in your relationship tends to spike a bit on vacation? Shared new experiences and adventures increase certain hormones that trigger those lovey dovey feelings. And those experiences and adventure don’t have to be big romantic vacations. Just doing things together, exploring somewhere new in your hometown, trying a new activity, trying a new restaurant and other similar activities can trigger those same hormones!
One of my favorite bloggers on Instagram, Daryl-Ann Denner, and her husband, regularly discuss their experiences with marriage counseling (which they have done for a while just to keep on top of their marriage and keep their relationship healthy)(and I kind of love that idea in itself). And Daryl-Ann has shared some great tips from their counselor that I love!
One of Daryl-Ann’s tips is to share a 60 second hug and a long kiss when you come back together after being apart (for work, errands, and trip etc.). Another tip to help maintain the relationship connection is to dance to one full song together. So turn up that first dance or couple song and bust some moves!
Dating your spouse or significant other doesn’t have to be big and expensive or even occur outside your home! Honestly, most of our dates are completely or primarily at home dates (thanks in-part to COVID). Here are some of our favorite at home date ideas:
At Home Dates
Most of our at home dates consist of playing board games and making dinner together. We actually cook together on a fairly regular basis. But instead of making your usual Thursday night hamburger helper, try making a new recipe. Or recreate something amazing you tried on your last vacation. Or your favorite part of your wedding dinner. Most recently We embarked on a mission to make our own Butterbeer after visiting The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. Our homemade butter beer turned out pretty well but definitely needs so more tweaking. We also tried to recreate the AMAZING cream of roasted garlic soup from our wedding reception. That one was a total fail though. But it was so much fun to try those new recipes together.
Playing board games is also something we do together pretty often. But it’s still almost always part of our date days or date nights. If you are looking for recommendations on board games that are great for two, check out this blog post. Another game I’ve heard great things about is Our Moments. It’s a conversation starting, thought provoking card game that would be a great way to help delve into some deeper topics and conversations.
After you’ve had dinner and played your board game, have a dance party! Turn the lights off, a party light on, turn up your favorite feel good music and let loose! A little party dancing is always good for the soul and is an almost guaranteed good time with your favorite person.
And what does every at home, date party need? Drinks!! And you know what’s actually a lot of fun? Playing bartender! Brian has really gotten into mixology lately and we’re having a blast making different mixed drinks at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love a nice, classic glass of wine. But changing things up every once in a while with a fancy cocktail is fun and makes me feel so sophisticated.
No date list is complete without the classic movie night. Take turns picking the movie so neither of you is subjected to movie after movie from a genre you aren’t particularly a fan of. But give the other person’s favorite a shot, you never know what you might actually end up really enjoying! So grab some candy from the dollar store, pop some popcorn and snuggle up on the couch!
In my onion, there are two big keys to making an at home date seem more special than an ordinary evening. First, try getting dressed and cleaned up the same way you would if you were going out on the town. It’s nice to look and feel your best for each other. The second key is, no phones allowed! Seriously, don’t have a date day/night and continue splitting your attention between your social media/phone games/texting and whatever your person is saying.
Going Out Dates
Alright, who’s ready for more date nights out on the town?? I know I am! We are starting to incorporate more “out” activities into our weekends and date plans.
As much as we’re homebodies, we do really enjoy going out to eat. Going out to dinner always just feels more special and like a treat. We are much less likely to play on our phones through dinner when we’re out than when we’re just at home. Another perk of going out to eat for date day/night, no dishes! There are so many amazing local restraints here we haven’t tried yet, so our new plan is to have at least one date night a month where we go out to eat at a new restaurant. I’ve downloaded a spinner app on my phone and I’m keeping a running list of places we want to try and we’re going to let the app pick what we should try when we can’t come to a decision ourselves.
Do a google search and find out what kind of activities are available in your area. Here in the Columbus, GA area there are several nearby (ish) wineries. We went to one a couple of weekends ago for by birthday and it was beautiful. Breweries are also becoming much more common, so I’d bet there’s at least one winery and/or brewery relatively close to where you live. And chances are both with server beverages other than wine or beer if that’s not your person’s thing.
If you are having a group night out, I have two words for you. Escape room. Just trust me, they are so fun. Teamwork and communication are required and hilarity will likely ensue. Most recently we did one with my sister and BIL, and we were all cracking up and running around the room like crazy people the whole time. It was the best.
Some other fun date ideas that I am planning for us are ax throwing, bowling (newly opened here in Columbus), bowling, and putt putt golf. Look into your local bars/restaurants/coffee shops, some places have live music, comedy, and/or trivia. Check and see if your area has any museums or art galleries. Take a painting class (they almost always serve or allow you to bring your own beverages). Try an indoor rock climbing wall. Take a dance lesson. Get outside and go for a hike/nature walk. Or the classic, movie theater date.
Your date day/night options will obviously be determined by what is actually available where you live. But the point is to do something together. Take a break from your normal “hanging out” and doing life together and reconnect. DO something together. Interact and chat. And remember why you chose to be together.
What’s your favorite date day or date night activity?
XOXO Jaye